Saturn Return

Dating online can be rough--a crapshoot of emotions and expectations which more often than not explode into failure.  In theory, it can lead to finding your perfect match.  

With a few clicks of your mouse you’re allowed to set the parameters of who you want to meet.  A whole slew of profiles then appear on your computer screen.  

That’s where dating online stops being easy.  You have to read between the lines of most profiles to really see who might show up if you ever do plan a date.

If you’re dating online now or ever have, you’ll appreciate what the characters in Saturn Return go through as they search for “the one” they all believe exists.  I guarantee you that reading Saturn Return will be more enjoyable than going out on a Match.com , Jdate , or Yahoo Personals date (click on these links to learn why).

So keep dating online and don’t give up hope.  When you’ve had that one date so bad that you need to turn off your profile for a few weeks (believe us, it’s bound to happen sooner or later), use your newfound free time to kick back, order a copy of Saturn Return , and replenish your dating chi. Then start all over again and browse some free online personals (hey I do what I can to help fellow daters).

10 Reasons Why Reading Saturn Return is Way Better Than Dating Online

1. If you hate the book, all you have to do is throw it away, as opposed to having the “It’s-Not-You-It’s-Me” talk.  Breaking up with my book is painless.
2. Nowhere in Saturn Return will you find the phrase “must love dogs.”
3. No characters in the book wear wife-beaters.
4. The cover you see on this page is the EXACT one that will show up in your mailbox.  The picture on this cover isn’t from 10 years and 20 pounds ago.
5. The mystery of whether the characters in Saturn Return love snuggling on the couch during thunderstorms makes this a page-turner.
6. Some nails-on-the-blackboard dating moments experienced by the author can be enjoyed at his expense.
7. The whole date will only cost you $15.95 (on Amazon.com) or $13.00 (here).  That’s way cheaper than being on some lame date (or having to cab it home from a rough date).  Plus, no wondering whether or not you have to split the cost (or whether you should offer to pay half).  No awkward pauses when the bill arrives – you just whip out your credit card and pay online.
8. There are no instances of any male characters displaying atrocious dance moves, a lá the “sprinkler” or the “running man.”
9. You don’t need to have your friend call you to get you out of this.  You can walk away at any time.  
10. Saturn Return has no baggage of its own, but will embrace yours.  

So, if dating online has got you down, or you just need a break, grab a copy of Saturn Return, and cuddle up with something that will love you as much as you love it.