saturn return

Saturn Return

Saturn Return The New Book by Mark Levine about Who you are, Where your going and Who you're meant to be with.
Jdate – the bane of every single Jew’s existence.  Every single Jew over the age of 22 has heard some variation of this line from a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle:  “Why don’t you try Jdate?  Hilda Goldblatt’s niece met her husband on there.”  

For those of you Jews who live in big cities (NY, LA, Chicago, Miami), Jdate definitely offers a plethora of available Jews.  For those of us in cities not teeming with Jews, Jdate is like picking through bruised fruit.  But, if you want to find a cool Jew (I’ve heard they exist), Jdate is one of your only choices.

Sometimes the Jewish Geography that occurs on 100% of every Jdates can be too much.  That is when you need to read Saturn Return – A novel by a Jew for Jews who date Jews.


  1. Saturn Return opens at a USY conclave in the 1980s with two teenagers hooking up in the basement. When else can you reminisce about your first hookup without looking like a freak?
  2. While reading this book, no one will say to you, “Did you go to camp with…?”
  3. No Jewish character in this book was in SDT, AEPii, SAM, or ZBT.
  4. Not one cheesy gold chain was used in the creation of this story.
  5. You get to enjoy all the uncomfortable conversations between parents who constantly pester their children about finding a nice Jewish boy or girl, without having to live it yourself.
  6. Saturn Return never hides its weight. It’s 15.84 ounces and damn proud of it!
  7. Go ahead and click here to read the first few chapters . It’s like a Jdate “Flirt”, except if you don’t like it, you’re guaranteed not to get an annoying email a few minutes after you read the free parts.
  8. The cover you see on this page looks EXACTLY like the one that will arrive in your mailbox. The gorgeous looking cover you see online is the same one that will arrive in the mail.
  9. Your parents won’t keep bugging you about “Whatever happened to that nice Jewish girl (or boy)?”
  10. You can watch with glee as the main character suffers through speed dating at his synagogue and a tense Shabbat dinner filled with dating questions hurled by various family members.
So stop asking yourself “Why is this novel different than all other novels?” (that was lame, I know) and buy a copy of Saturn Return.
Saturn Return © 2006 Click Industries, Ltd.
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