Sometimes you just need a break from Match.com.
It could be that one email from some semi-stalker that puts you over the edge. Or, maybe you just got blown off by someone you didn’t even like and were planning on sending the “It’s not you, it’s me” email to any way.
Don’t let your lack of success on Match.com get you down. Kick back, order a copy of Saturn Return, and replenish your dating chi.
10 Reasons Why Reading Saturn Return is Way Better Than a Match.com Date:
- Saturn Return is only 15.84 ounces and never lies about its weight. In Match terms, Saturn Return is athletic and toned. At 356 pages, it’s got enough meat to make it a crisp read, but it’s lean enough to not bore the hell out of you.
- The cover you see on this page looks EXACTLY like the one that will arrive in your mailbox. When you open up the package, there will be no look of horror and disappointment that what you thought was showing up, didn’t.
- The whole date will only cost you $15.95 (on Amazon), but only $12.00 from us. No wondering whether or not you have to split the cost (or whether you should offer to pay half). No awkward pauses when the bill arrives – you just whip out your credit card an pay online.
- Even if your date with Saturn Return sucks, you’re only out $15.95 or $12.00. That’s much less painful than being suckered into buying an expensive dinner for your Match.com date. Plus, you can stop reading at any time. You can’t always ditch your Match.com once you know you can’t stand the person.
- How many Match.com dates offer a 100% money back guarantee? Before going out with your next Match.com see if he or she will give you all the money you spend on the date if you have an awful time.
- Saturn Return will engage you and keep you interested. No long pauses filled with dead air wondering if there is anything you can say to save the conversation.
- Saturn Return loves snuggling on the couch during a thunderstorm, so if you’re one of the 1,104,233 people who put that in your profile, you’ve found the perfect companion. Plus, Saturn Return won’t try to grope you while you’re watching a movie.
- Saturn Return is 100% LOL free. Not one stupid internet acronym anywhere!
- Saturn Return is as comfortable being read on your couch as it being read in your bed. It also enjoys being read at dive bars or 5-Star restaurants.
- Saturn Return doesn’t care if you’re not over your last relationship. Saturn Return embraces your baggage.
While you’re waiting for “the one” to show up, grab a copy of Saturn Return , and cuddle up with something that will love you as much as you love it.
