Ladies, I feel for you. Your profile talks about how you want to meet a guy who’d rather spend Sundays at a museum instead of watching football. So, who emails you from Yahoo Personals? Yeah, the guy with the face paint and NFL colored wig as his main photo. Add in the photos of all the guys wearing wife-beaters crouched down next to their new set of rims – and you’re ready to throw up the white flag.
Guys, it’s no better for us. You wonder why Yahoo Personals doesn’t ban the use of “Must Love Dogs” (or “Must Luv Dogs”) as a headline. You’ve probably also learned the Yahoo Personals designation of “average” as a body type is left wide open to interpretation. One man’s average is another man’s “Holy shit!!!”
I, too, am slugging it out every day on Yahoo Personals. Searching for the amazing woman I’m beginning to think doesn’t exist. Finally, I decided to write a novel about how the hell we find this person.
It’s called Saturn Return and I guarantee it to be a fun, lively, enjoyable read. You might laugh out loud at some spots and say, “I know a person just like that.” Some parts of the book might even give you hope that “the one” exists.
Instead of going on one more lame date, kick back, order a copy of Saturn Return , and replenish your dating chi.
10 Reasons Why Reading Saturn Return is Way Better Than a Yahoo Personals Date
- Saturn Return is only 15.84 ounces and never lies about it’s weight. In Yahoo Personals terms, Saturn Return is fit.
- Go ahead and click here to read the first few chapters . It’s like a Yahoo Personals Icebreaker, except if you don’t like it, you’re guaranteed not to get an annoying email a few minutes after your read the free parts.
- The cover you see on this page looks EXACTLY like the one that will arrive in your mailbox. The gorgeous looking cover you see online is the same one that will arrive in the mail.
- The whole date will only cost you $15.95 (on Amazon), but only $12.00 from us. Plus, there is sex on first few pages. Very few Yahoo Personals dates can deliver that kind of action by spending only $12.
- Even if your date with Saturn Return sucks, you’re only out $15.95 or $12.00. If the conversation (in this case reading) is painful, all you have to do is put the book down and never look at it again. It’s hard to escape in the middle of bad Yahoo Personals date.
- How many Yahoo Personals dates offer a 100% money back guarantee? You hate the way the book looks when it arrives, you get your money back. You hate it because you’re bored to death, you get your money back.
- Saturn Return will engage you and keep you interested. No long pauses filled with dead air wondering if there is anything you can say to save the conversation.
- Saturn Return’s friends would describe it as fun, lively, compassionate, and a good read. Plus, Saturn Return loves its friends and family. Another huge plus is that Saturn Return loves snuggling on the couch during a thunderstorm, so if you’re one of the 1,123,299 people who put that in your profile, you’ve found the perfect companion.
- Saturn Return is 100% LOL free. Not one stupid internet acronym anywhere!
- Saturn Return is as comfortable being read in a booth of a diner as it is being read in a leather captain’s chair at the country club.
While you’re waiting for “the one” to show up, grab a copy of Saturn Return , and cuddle up with something that will love you as much as you love it.
